The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with and it impacts each person in a different way. This is an especially difficult time for the family who are having to cope with their loss as well as all of the necessary arrangements. Understanding some of the most basic guidelines of funeral etiquette allows every mourner the opportunity to pay their respects for the deceased.
For the most part, these guidelines are generally a matter of common sense and good discretion, though there are a few staple principles. In situations where the deceased stipulated certain attire be worn or activities performed, these requests should be honored foremost. If they have religious or cultural traditions they wish to be followed for the service, all mourners should participate regardless of their personal doctrines, as a matter of respect.
Deciding what is considered proper attire for funerary services is one of the top topics of discussion. Unless there were specific style requests left by the deceased, or required by their cultural or religious beliefs, the rule of thumb is to wear something in black, dark blue, gray or deep brown which all symbolize mourning. Take care to dress conservatively to show respect and to avoid drawing attention to oneself.
When attending a service, it is important not to be late. It is customary to arrive at least fifteen minutes prior to the start of service so that one may be seated and situated before the family begins to enter. If an unexpected and unavoidable delay should occur, enter as quietly as possible and either stand or sit in near the back so as not to disturb the proceedings.
One may offer condolences in person, through phone calls or by sending cards and letters. However they are delivered, they should be brief yet sincere messages without any well meaning advice on dealing with loss as that may be better appreciated at a later date. Most appreciate the sharing of memories as long as the deceased remains the center of focus.
Remember that the purpose for such ceremonies are to pay final respects to someone dear to all who attend and to provide an opportunity for them to share treasured memories. General funeral etiquette keeps the proceedings flowing smoothly, avoiding upsetting disruptions and maintains focus on the honored deceased. These guidelines are primarily matters of respect, discretion and common sense and can help anyone who is unsure of how to behave among the bereaved.
