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Colonial Memorial Chapel


Understanding The Basics Of Memorial Etiquette

Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.

Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.

The topic of what is considered appropriate attire for such an occasion is among the most often discussed. While specific requests from the deceased, or the traditions of a particular cultural group may dictate a bright or alternative style, in most cases, dark colors are worn as a symbol of mourning. Outfits should be conservative and modest so as not to draw attention away from the one being honored.

When attending a service, it is important not to be late. It is customary to arrive at least fifteen minutes prior to the start of service so that one may be seated and situated before the family begins to enter. If an unexpected and unavoidable delay should occur, enter as quietly as possible and either stand or sit in near the back so as not to disturb the proceedings.

One may offer condolences in person, through phone calls or by sending cards and letters. However they are delivered, they should be brief yet sincere messages without any well meaning advice on dealing with loss as that may be better appreciated at a later date. Most appreciate the sharing of memories as long as the deceased remains the center of focus.

Remember that the purpose for such ceremonies are to pay final respects to someone dear to all who attend and to provide an opportunity for them to share treasured memories. General funeral etiquette keeps the proceedings flowing smoothly, avoiding upsetting disruptions and maintains focus on the honored deceased. These guidelines are primarily matters of respect, discretion and common sense and can help anyone who is unsure of how to behave among the bereaved.


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